I promise, this will not be a doom-and-gloom post about living with burnout. I will explore the lessons I learned during my 3-year experience with burnout. But I will also focus on recovery.
I am hoping this will give you a better understanding of that it means to be living with burnout, and find motivation to get out of it.
Over many years for living with burnout, as well as self care journey, I gained a lot of perspective. I was surprised to learn that this experience was not only traumatizing. I also helped me to know myself better and discover my priorities.
I will share these insights with you. Keep reading if you want to understand your own journey better, or if you have a loved one who is living with burnout.
H2 Lessons Learned while Living with Burnout
Many of the insights I had from living with burnout will sound like harsh truths, and not easy to read. But that’s just a first impression. In reality, every insight is empowering.
Having a clear understanding of where you stand can show you what to do to overcome your obstacles. You have more power over your own destiny. You know what you are missing, and you can make more informed choices moving forward.
You Lost Control of Your Own Life
If you suspect you might be living with burnout, you are. This is because we are all deep into it when we start noticing symptoms. You have been going through the motions. Without questioning, you have been doing what you had to do, but forgot to check in with yourself.
Burnout can be
- living a life that is no longer in line with your values
- losing your way
- losing your touch with your initial purpose
- your purpose has changed along the way, while you are still following the old blueprint
Either way, burnout is about a disconnect within yourself. If you don’t know what that is yet, you need to self reflect.
Living with Burnout Makes You Bitter
You are not a pleasant friend of colleague. Burnout means feeling overwhelmed, struggling every day just to keep yourself afloat. Everything else is extra effort which requires energy that you don’t have.
So you are down. In your overwhelm, you don’t see things clearly. You only see the the dark clouds. This makes you not fun to be around.
This doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to have friends. Everyone goes through dark times, and your friends will understand. Letting them know that you are aware and thanking them for their patience will give you both peace of mind.
You Will Lose Friends
Still, some people might not understand. Or your fragility might be too much for them to deal with in that stage of their life. That’s understandable, and you shouldn’t victimize yourself or get mad at them. We are all at different stages in our lives and we are all dealing the best we can.
You might also lose friends because you are not maintaining your relationships.
When you are living with burnout, it feels like a full time job. All the energy you have, you burn to get through the day. You feel exhausted, and navigating social situations can be challenging. This is why you are are avoiding them.
I often found myself not answering the phone, or declining invitations. This is because one more social engagement felt daunting and I was already drained. In such cases, it’s not surprising that some people might stop checking in.
It’s not their fault, but neither is it yours. Have self compassion, you are doing your best.
The World Moves on, It Will not Wait for You
While you are in a slump, the world keeps going.
- You feel overwhelmed with your everyday tasks and responsibilities.
- Staying up-to-date with the ever-changing climate is too much for you.
- You will see your friends make life-changing decisions, get married, have children, grow in their careers, be successful.
During all this, you feel stuck. You want to move forward, but you can’t, or don’t know where. And you feel left behind.
Don’t worry. While it’s true that your progress gets frozen, you will catch up when you out of this.
You Are not Seeing the Bigger Picture
You are so zoomed in on your own problems, that you lost perspective. The issues you are grappling with are not as big or scary as you perceive them.
The office politics that are keeping you up at night will mean nothing in a year’s time. They have no real consequence on your life and what matters to you. But your burnout makes you see every little squabble as an insurmountable problem.
This is normal. Your energy is limited, and conflict while living with burnout can be draining.
What I Learned from My Recovery Journey
Self Care Is Your Way Out
Since you lost touch with yourself, you need to start caring for yourself again. You have to look after yourself like you wold a loved one. Put in the time every day.
- Look after your physical health
- Build a support system or consolidate it if you have it
- Work on your mindset
- Practice mindfulness
You are right, this is a lot of effort. But you don’t have to do it all at the same time. Start small, with manageable habits which can be easily implemented.
Check out this article on 5 easy habits I implemented in my own life.
On your self care journey, you will begin to gain perspective. As you work on yourself every day, you will find your way to the real you.
As I was making my way out of burnout, I discovered my authentic self. I found myself cutting through the noise and focusing on what matters to me. Doing this work helped me understand myself better than I ever had, it gave me clarity.
Conclusion
Living with burnout is exhausting all your energy to survive. It’s taking everything from you, until your are lifeless and joyless. Breaking out of burnout is hard work. The whole experience feels overwhelming, exhausting and unfair.
But every negative experience comes with life lessons and increased clarity.
This is how I choose to look at it:
Do I wish I hadn’t lost 3 years to this experience? Yes
But it happened and it’s out of my control. So do I choose to moan the lost time? Or do I choose to learn form it and be stronger moving forward?