Larissa Bee

Content writer, author of Self Care Bee

7 Most Common Self Care Mistakes and How to Avoid Them

So you have started your self care journey but it isn’t going quite as you expected? You may be making one of the 7 common self care mistakes and don’t even know it.

Trust me, I know what it’s like, I’ve been there. More often than I’d like to admit.

In this article, I will get into every one of them, and I’ll show you how to avoid them.

What Are Self Care Mistakes?

If you feel that self care isn’t quite working for you, maybe it’s because you are too strict with it. Or you may be too strict with yourself.

Self care is about making space, being patient and learning self compassion.

If you feel stuck, it may be because you are treating it too much like a job. And this is the exact opposite of what you want.

Don’t worry, we’ll get into all the self care mistakes you might be making, and I’ll show you how to avoid them.

I know “self care mistakes” sounds scary, but there’s no need to panic. This article isn’t supposed to show you yet another thing you are doing wrong. It’s supposed to be a tool to help you out on your journey, and make your work a lot easier.

So without further ado, let’s get into it!

1. Bubble Baths Are Not Self Care

This is the most common misconception people have about self care.

It’s true, it may be pleasant in the moment. And there is nothing wrong with treating yourself once in a while. But a bubble bath won’t work for your long term wellbeing.

Self care is about sustained effort. It is about creating a routine that’s beneficial for your physical and emotional health.

Don’t get me wrong. I have nothing against treating yourself to a slice of chocolate cake, while watching your favourite comfort movie. I don’t object to a hot bath after a long day. But please don’t mistake this for self care, and don’t expect it to make you feel better on the long run.

2. Having Unrealistic Expectations

Self care covers many aspects, and there is a lot that goes into it. It can mean physical, emotional, social, spiritual self care and so on.

One of the most common self care mistakes people make, is trying to do everything at the same time. I am guilty of it. I used to stack up as many self care routines as I could in a day. And then felt guilty when I failed.

If you are starting out, don’t try to cram everything in your daily routine. You will get overwhelmed and, within a couple of days, you will feel like a failure.

Try to introduce new routines one by one. Then only add new ones when the old ones are habit and don’t require any effort to maintain.

For more ideas on how to begin your self care journey, check out this article here:

Best Strategy to Begin Your Self Care Journey and Stick to It

3. Treating It Like a Job

Another mistake you might be making is treating your self care journey like you would a job. This means putting pressure on yourself to tick off everything you decided to do in a day.

I used to do this all the time. Every day I would set goals for myself. I would force myself to

meditate
work out
socialize
eat healthy
do breathing exercises

I would have to hit all these targets on my to-do list every day and I would feel disappointed if I didn’t.

This is the best recipe for failure. There’s a reason why its called “care”. You’re supposed to care for yourself, not stress yourself out even more. So if your self care journey feels like a chore, it most likely is.

Try to be more forgiving with yourself. Give yourself space and be patient. Self care is not supposed to be another to-do list that you have to tick off at the end of the day.

4. Only Focusing on One Aspect of Self Care

As I said earlier, self care has many aspects and it requires a holistic approach.

Going to therapy is self care, but so is regular exercise or nurturing your relationships. If you are only focusing on one aspect, you might be missing out on the benefits of self care.

It’s great that you are doing your meditation practice every morning. But if you are not looking after your body, that can affect your mental health. Everything is connected.

For your overall wellbeing, you should look after your mental, emotional and physical health.

I know that sounds like a lot of work. But you can begin with small steps and build up from there.

5. Not Asking for Help

One of the most common self care mistakes people make is trying to do it all on their own.

The world we live in has pushed us to be more and more individualistic. To the point where we’re afraid or ashamed to ask for help. I don’t know about you, but I always hesitate to ask for help from others. It feels like I’m being a nuisance.

But we are social animals. We are meant to live in tribes, to co-exist. We are supposed to help each other out and to depend on each other. We connect when we work together.

Try to get over the fear of asking. If you don’t know how to, here’s how it worked for me:

Think back on the last time someone asked you for help.
How did you feel?
Were happy to be of use?

Chances are the answer is yes. Because we like to feel needed. The idea that others feel bothered by our needs is often only in our heads.

Most people, decent people, are happy to help. As for the rest, you don’t want them in your life anyway.

6. Not Being Consistent

Like with everything, consistency is key. You cannot see results if you don’t make a practice and stick to it.

I understand that this might be challenging, since we are always busy. It’s hard to cram new habits and practices into an already busy schedule.

This is why I always recommend to take it slowly.

Start with small steps and keep at it.

It’s more efficient than going at it in leaps and bounds. Focus on small habits and do them consistently. The results will be instantaneous. I promise, it works every time!

7. Learning Instead of Practising

If you are reading this article about self care mistakes, that’s great. Learn what you need from it. But then go do it!

Information without practice is useless.

You are not working on your self care because you are reading about it.

It’s easy to fall into this trap. Consuming content and info on something is great. It teaches you what you need to know, and the internet is a wonderful tool for learning.

But one of the downsides is that it’s meant to keep you engaged at all times. You are supposed to spend your time consuming content, instead of going out there and living your life.

If you are not applying what you have learnt, you are wasting your time.

So start now.

Begin a new practice now.

Improve on it as you go.

Learn along the way.

Just do!

Conclusion

If you have been making some of these self care mistakes, that’s ok. This is how we learn. But now you know how to fix it.

Remember that you are doing it for yourself. There is no audience, no pressure and no finish line.

It takes time. Self care is a practice, not a race. You’re not trying to prove anything. And it’s not supposed to be perfect, whatever “perfect” means.

Learn to be patient with yourself, and stay consistent.

Have you made any of these self care mistakes on your self care journey? How did you deal with them? Please share your experience, and any tips & tricks in the comments!

What Is Emotional Self Care: The 7 Pillars of Emotional Health

If you were wondering what is emotional self care, this article will dive into the different aspects that make it up. We will look at the 7 pillars of emotional self care, and how you can make space for it in your daily life.

Emotional health is often overlooked. In a society obsessed with appearances, we only focus on the physical. The emotional side of our live is not visible, so we tend to overlook it.

In the last decade, emotional issues and burnout seem to affect more of us, and at an earlier age. So conversations about them, and what is emotional self care, are more frequent. Unfortunately, this is only the case in certain corners of the internet.

What Is Emotional Self Care

Let’s dive into what is emotional self care.

I have broken it down into 7 main pillars:

cultivating emotional awareness
learning and practising emotional regulation
setting up and enforcing boundaries
mindfulness
gratitude practice
connecting with others
self love

So let’s break these down and discuss, in detail, what is emotional self care and how to make it a habit in your day-to-day life.

1. Emotional Awareness

When you deal with your emotions, you first need to be able to identify them. We all have emotions, at all time. This is what drives most of our decisions and choices. But how often are you able to identify your emotions at any given moment? How often are you able to name them?

If you cannot identify and understand your emotions, you are their prisoner. As soon as you learn to name them, understand where they are coming from, you gain power over them. They lose their power over you, and instead you are in the driver’s seat.

For example, if something angers you, you have more control over your reaction if you notice and acknowledge the anger. If you don’t stop to observe yourself, you will react and you will do something impulsive.

If you struggle identifying your emotions, you can start by using a feelings wheel.

This is your first step in your emotional self care journey.

2. Emotional Regulation

Emotional regulation is the ability to manage your emotions, and not let them lead you. Learning to regulate emotions starts in early childhood. Your carer’s reaction to your emotions teaches you how to soothe yourself in the future. By observing their reactions and how they regulate their own emotions, you learn your future behaviour.

Most likely, our parents and carers have struggled with their own emotional regulation. That is not to say they should be blamed. They did their best with the tools they had available at the time. But they are human and imperfect, just like us. So it falls on us to learn to soothe ourselves, if we want to have a healthy and balanced emotional life.

There are a few ways you can do that:

Create Space

This relates back to our previous point, about not reacting on the spot. When you feel a surge of emotion overwhelming you, pause. Observe instead of reacting. If you have the tools, try to name it. But even if you don’t, just take a moment before you say or do something.

This will allow your body to disconnect from that reactive state. It will also give you time to get a clearer picture.

Another important skill to have in your emotional tool kit is staying with your negative feelings. Whenever we have an unpleasant emotion, we try to silence it. We do that either by distracting ourselves with work, or other unhealthy coping mechanisms. But this won’t make the feeling or the problem go away. By avoiding it, we feed the cycle of emotional disregulation.

Instead of trying to remove a negative feeling, try to stay with it. Analyse it. Try to understand where it is coming from, and why it bothers you.

Grounding

There are certain exercises and techniques you can use to disconnect from a triggering emotion. This is called grounding.

Instead of allowing an emotion to overwhelm you, you can try bringing your attention to the immediate reality.

There are countless exercises out there, the most common one is the 54321 method. It’s easy to remember and it’s a useful trick to have whenever you are feeling overwhelmed.

Here’s how it works:

identify 5 things you can see
4 things you can touch
3 things you can hear
2 things you can smell
1 thing you can taste

Doing this exercise will get you out of your head and help bring you back to the present.

Talking About It

When you think about what is emotional self care, calling a friend is not the first thing that comes to mind. But talking actually helps with regulating our emotions.

Talking about a problem can reduce stress and give perspective. Again, it gets you out of your head and helps you unload your burdens. It also gives you a clearer mindset, which will lead to better problem solving.

Have you ever felt the weight of the world on our shoulders, only to talk it out and feel more empowered as you do it? This is the power of talking. Our problems seem so much bigger in our heads. As soon as we share them with someone, they lose some of the power. This gives us a feeling that we’re not alone, which is empowering.

Journaling

Journaling has a similar effect to talking: it helps you put things into perspective. It’s very useful if you are struggling with an emotion you don’t want to share.

Journaling as a regular practice is also a great tool for emotional regulation. It gives you the habit of analysing and breaking down your issues. It teaches you to put into question every emotion and see it from every angle. It’s also good to clear your head every day. It’s like brushing your teeth, but for your mind.

If you don’t know where to start with journaling, don’t worry. There are so many journaling prompts out there.

3. Boundary Setting

Boundaries are limits that we set to protect our mental and physical space. Many negative emotions come from a lack of boundaries, or our failure to protect them.

It is normal and healthy to have limits.

When others cross certain lines, this can hurt, create frustration and emotional overwhelm. For a healthy emotional life, you should learn to set boundaries in your relationships with others.

Don’t know where to start? Try to be observant. When you have a negative emotion, try to understand:

what caused it, where it’s coming from
what you can do to avoid it in future

This is how you know what boundaries you need to set in your interactions with others.

Of course, this is easier said than done. Because identifying a limit and setting a boundary is only the first step. The hardest part is enforcing it.

For many people, it is uncomfortable to have a conversation about limits. It’s embarrassing and unpleasant to call people out. Or you might wish to avoid judgment from others. This is understandable.

But ask yourself: how much worse does it feel when they ignore your boundaries? No matter how unpleasant you think these conversations are, you can make them a habit. Just start with something small and be consistent. It’s like building a muscle.

4. Mindfulness

Mindfulness is one of the more talked about aspects of emotional self care. The internet, and even the mainstream media, talk about the benefits of mediation and how to get into it. There are countless apps that guide you through your meditation practice. There is information available for all levels, from absolute beginner to advanced.

And for good reason. There is plenty of research out there proving that mindfulness reduces stress, builds resilience, and even helps with pain management.

Whether it’s mediation, or breathing exercises, mindfulness is a great tool to have in your kit. You don’t need to spend a lot of time or energy to include this practice in your day-to-day. You can start with a 10-minute exercise, which you can squeeze in any moment of the day.

But you don’t need to sit down and have an app to practice mindfulness. You can apply it in everything you do, without putting time aside. Mindfulness means being present. It is being aware of the present moment and observing your emotions and your reactions to them. Try being more aware of the present moment.

You know when you can’t find your keys, you put an object in the wrong place, or can’t quite remember a conversation? That’s because you weren’t mindful in those moments. You allowed your mind to wonder and didn’t engage with the present. Try to be more aware from now on. Notice your surroundings, put intentional thought into your actions. This is also mindfulness.

5. Gratitude

Gratitude is another pillar of emotional self care that is easy to apply in your daily life with remarkable benefits. It is the practice of acknowledging the good things in your life. It helps you have more positive emotions and reduces stress. With long term practice, gratitude changes the way you think.

How do you get into it? It’s easy. List 3 to 5 things every day that make you feel grateful for. Take the time to think about it, don’t just list them to get them out of the way. You need to feel the gratitude.

The way you do this is by being specific. For example, instead of:

“I am grateful for my dog”
try “I am grateful for the cuddle session I had with my dog this morning”

Do you notice how the second option forces you to re-live a positive moment?

Try to focus your gratitude practice around feelings, around the benefits to your life.

6. Connection

This is a broad term, but it boils down to creating connection with others and the world around us. We are not meant to be isolated. We are a part of a whole, and we have an intrinsic need to belong. Neglecting your connections is neglecting a vital part of your emotional self care.

Meaningful Relationships

Humans are social animals, and our wellbeing depends on us being part of a community. Studies have shown that people who struggle with loneliness are more depressed, anxious and live shorter lives.

So make time for your friendships. Check in with your best friend. Go to that dinner you’ve been postponing. Next time you get an invitation to a party or event, don’t turn it down. Call your relatives from time to time and ask them how they’re doing. Take time after work to chat with your partner. All these things matter and they are essential to your emotional stability.

Community

Our need for connection runs deeper than our immediate relationships. We also need to feel part of a bigger tribe. We need to feel useful.

If you can, take some time to contribute and give back. I know we’re all busy with everyday life. But it’s important to set aside an hour or two every couple of months to volunteer for a cause you support. Find something that matters to you. Or try as simple as helping someone in need.

These actions create positive emotions and make you feel you belong to something bigger than yourself.

7. Self Love

The last pillar of emotional self care is self love.

We are often so critical of ourselves. Our expectations of ourselves are always growing. There’s more and more on our plate. The world around us puts more pressure on us, and we put the same, if not more pressure on ourselves.

We have forgotten how to care for ourselves. Most of the time, we’re our biggest bully.

However, emotional health cannot exist when there’s constant pressure and unrealistic expectations.

Self Acceptance

You have to accept that you are not perfect. And that you’re not supposed to be. Meet yourself wherever you are. Life is a journey, and we are all doing our best. And in spite of what you see on social media, we’re all struggling and imperfect.

Learn to accept your shortcomings. It doesn’t mean that you’ve given up on self improvement. It just means that you acknowledge it’s a journey, and not about perfection.

Self Compassion

Have you ever found yourself unable to sleep, worrying about a stupid thing you said or done during the day? I know you have, and everyone does.

The good news is that we are all idiots at some point or another. There isn’t anyone in the world, no matter how successful, who hasn’t made a mistake.

Not only that, but you are not the only one who’s ever said or done something wrong. While it’s important to hold yourself accountable, dwelling on your mistakes for too long serves no purpose. For you, or the people involved. Evaluate what’s happened, learn from it, apologise if you have to, and move on.

Mistakes are how you learn and grow. So have some understanding for yourself.

Positive Self Talk

If you are the kind of person who is always self critical, you need to stop now. Beating yourself up is not productive. It serves no purpose whatsoever. And the way you talk to and about yourself influences your emotional wellbeing. Words do have power.

There are so many people who call themselves names for getting something wrong. Hey belittle themselves for making a mistake. Unfortunately, this internalises negative messages.

Try instead to give yourself space and understanding. Instead of:

“I made a mistake again, I’m so useless”, try
“I made a mistake, but it’s normal. This is how I’m learning”.

Treat yourself like you would a friend or a child. You wouldn’t be harsh or condescending. You would be encouraging and supportive. You deserve the same. Be supportive of yourself, you are doing your best after all.

Conclusion:

What is emotional self care? It’s constant self work meant to improve your emotional wellbeing. Despite the many aspects I’ve outlined above, you can start integrating it in your daily life. Like with everything, it’s best to ease into it.

Try to include a new practice in your daily habits. Take 5, or 10 minutes – as long as you can afford. I promise, you will see the benefits.

If you want to learn more about self care, check out this article on the 7 pillars of physical self care.

What Is Physical Self Care: Easy Steps for Your Daily Routine

What Is Physical Self Care: Easy Steps for Your Daily Routine

Hello and welcome to this article about what is physical self care! No doubt, you have noticed that self care talk is more and more present online. Self care covers a lot of ground, but in this post I will focus on the physical aspect of it. How do we care for our physical body and well-being?

To answer what is physical self care, we have to go into the many aspects that it covers. For most people, physical exercise is the first thing that comes to mind. You go to the gym, or do yoga, or any kind of workout. And this is how you look after your physical body.

In reality, it takes more than that. Physical self care is:

physical exercise
hygiene
prevention
healthy eating
good sleep
a clean environment
sometimes pampering

Don’t worry, this doesn’t mean you have to add even more to your ever-growing daily to-do list. We will get into implementing all aspects of physical self care in a seamless and easy way.

We’ll get into each of these aspects and discuss what is physical self care and what it is not. I will also give you a fool-proof recipe on how to include more physical self care in your day-to-day, without disrupting your current habits.

What Is Physical Self Care?

So let’s get into it! There are 7 main pillars for physical self care. Let’s take them one by one.

1. Physical Exercise

Let’s start with the one everybody is thinking of. We all agree that to have a healthy body, we need to move. Whether we like it or not, whether we have a workout regime in our daily routine of not, we know it’s good for us.

What most people don’t know, is that moving our body is not only good for our physical health. It also works wonders for our mental health. Studies have shown that a high intensity workout 3 times a week has better results for depression and anxiety than medication.

People who exercise regularly have less stress, more resilience and better mood.

But high intensity exercise is not the only answer. The good news is: any kind of physical activity is beneficial. This means even Pilates or yoga, stretching or taking a walk.

The key is to move. Find something that works for you, something that you enjoy and gets to blood running.

2. Hygiene

When thinking about what is physical self care, we should also take a look at other aspects, such as hygiene. Why is hygiene important?

Apart from the obvious, good hygiene can prevent the development of disease. It helps prevent the spread of infectious diseases and is responsible for better physical health.

On top of that, it helps with your confidence. Let’s not forget that we live among other people, who often assess us through the way we present ourselves. It’s how we work, and we all do it. Appearances matter, and this has a direct consequence on our place in society.

A clean, healthy appearance is a confidence booster. And you definitely noticed it yourself. Have you ever run into someone when you were wearing something scruffy? How did you feel? And how do you feel when you are put together? Do you notice a difference in confidence?

3. Prevention

Prevention can mean many things, but I want to focus here on medical prevention.

Physical self care is also about your regular physical exams. It’s abut blood work and regular check-ups. It’s about staying on top of your health.

Think of it this way: do you take your child to regular check-ups? Do you take your pet to the vet? Then why aren’t you doing the same for yourself?

It’s always better to prevent than to treat, and caring for your own health is an act of self love.

Go ahead and book that appointment! It only takes a minute, but it’s so precious in the long run.

4. Healthy Eating

What you put in your body affects your physical health. We tend to forget that, because of our busy lives. Food has so many uses in our daily lives:

it’s this thing that we need to get out of the way because we are busy. So we gobble up something at our desk, or in the car, to fill our stomach
it’s a social occasion. This is when we catch up with friends, the only time in the day we can take a moment and talk
it’s the thing we use at the end of the day to numb our overwhelming feelings. It’s the comfort, the feel-good moment
it’s the thing we sometimes use to control the way we look

But we have forgotten its actual purpose: to nourish. Start thinking about food in this way. When you decide what and when to eat, make this decision intentional. Ask yourself what your food is giving you. Forget about diets and convenience. Does the thing you eat offer nourishment?

5. Good Sleep

The benefits of good sleep are many, sleep supports every system in your body. It’s like your reset button.

Our days have grown more busy and our schedule more full then ever. It’s understandable that we tend to see sleep as an inconvenience. There are so many hours in the day when we are not productive.

Unfortunately, sleep deprivation comes with many short- and long-term consequences:

a weakened immune system
increased risk of obesity and type 2 diabetes and dementia
increased depression and anxiety
affects cognitive functions, like attention, decision-making and memory

The amount of sleep we need differs according to age, but for adults it’s 7 or more hours. Best approach is to listen to your body. If it needs more hours of sleep, find a way to include them in your schedule. For example, skip the midnight doom scrolling. It may seem like what you need in that moment, but it’s not.

Prioritize your sleep and you will have more energy to get things done the next day.

6. Your Environment

We often overlook it, but our environment has an impact on our physical health.

The air we breathe has a direct impact on our physical body. While we can’t control what we breathe in when we go out, we do have control over our own home.

If you live in a polluted urban area, you can use an air purifier in your home. Especially if you or someone in your household suffers from allergies.

One of the more overlooked aspects of air quality is the pollutants we ourselves use. Cleaning supplies and scented candles are often toxic, and these toxins can linger in our home for days. Try to be more mindful with the products you buy. Opt for more natural substances and be weary of synthetic perfumes.

Another aspect of a healthy environment is cleanliness and order. Hygiene extends to your environment as well, not only your body. Make a habit of keeping it clean. This will also improve your mood, as clutter often leads to a cluttered mind as well.

7. Pampering

What is physical self care without bath bombs and facials, right?

In reality, this is a bit controversial. Yes, pampering can be a part of self care. There is nothing wrong with taking a relaxing bubble bath. Unfortunately, many people see it as the only way to self care. And this is unhelpful.

Pampering alone cannot improve your physical health. If you don’t take the previous points seriously, pampering is not going to help. You can burrow into your cozy bed with a hot drink at the end of the day, and it might make you feel better in the moment. But your struggles will not go away the next day. These are quick fixes.

If you are looking for significant change, you need to put in the work every day.

This is not to say that pampering isn’t good for you. But please see it for what it is: having a nice, relaxing time. Relaxation is necessary for your physical and mental health, so make the most of it. But don’t make it the be-all and end-all of self care.

Your First Steps to Physical Self Care

Now that your have a better understanding of what is physical self care, you may want to start adding it to your day-to-day life. But there are so many aspects of it, and so much to do. It can be overwhelming. If you want to know where to start, here are 3 easy steps that you can incorporate into your routine starting today:

1. Start with physical check-ups.

It takes 5 minutes to make a call. You don’t have to book them all now. Start with what seems more important for you right now.

If you haven’t been to the dentist’s in a long time, you can start there.
If you wear glasses, it’s a good idea to go and get your eyes checked.

You get the picture.

2. Go for a walk 3 times a week

You don’t have to get a gym membership. If you don’t already have an exercise routine, you will not use it.

But you can add a 20-minute walk in your schedule 3 times a week.

You can try squeezing it in after a quick lunch. If you can wake up 20 minutes earlier, do that.

Instead of going on social media in the evening, take a walk around the block.

There are many ways in which you can get some time for yourself every other day. 20 minutes isn’t that long at all.

3. Go to bed before midnight

If you go to bed late, try to push your bedtime earlier little by little. You can start going to bed 15 minutes earlier this week. Then, next week, add another 15 minutes. And so on.

Going to bed earlier will improve the quality of your sleep.

It’s such a small change, but the effects are significant.

To stay motivated, remember you are making these changes for your own health and well being.

As these small habits become the norm in your day-to-day life, you can start introducing new ones, like:

changing your filters and cleaning products
adding 10 more minutes to your walks
adding a 10-minute stretching routine in the morning
reading up on nutrition and healthy eating
taking 5 minutes to tidy up before going to bed

Don’t try to do it all at once. Always keep in mind that in order for it to stick, a habit needs time to become normalized.

Don’t put too much pressure on yourself, or it will all feel like a burden.

Take your time. Self care is a practice, not a race.

To learn more on how to begin your self care journey an stick to it, check out this article:

Best Strategy to Begin Your Self Care Journey and Stick to It

5 Daily Habits to Help You Break Out of Burnout

This article will tackle a few habits that can help you in your effort to break out of burnout. Burnout is a growing issue in modern society. We have fast-paced lives, demanding jobs and endless responsibilities.

At the same time, we are overwhelmed by the expectations we place on ourselves. We have to look our best, have the perfect vacation and be perfect in our relationships.

This is a lot to ask from a mere human being. And sometimes we can lose ourselves in the maze of expectations, real or imagined.

To break out of burnout, you need to re-think the way you approach your everyday life. Changing your mindset starts with changing your habits. What you do every day makes up who you are and how you see the world.

I will teach you how to install small habits, which are easy to incorporate in your day. These habits will help you re-frame your thinking and your priorities.

Your purpose is to create breathing space and focus on your well-being. You do that through

daily (and fun!) activities that help you re-center
changing your mindset from stuck to empowered
connection and a feeling of belonging

I’ll break these down for you into small habits that you can in your daily routine. They are practices that worked for me and that I still use to this day.

These habits help me stay focused on what matters and cut through the everyday noise. They helped me break out of burnout. And I hope you will try them out, because I am sure they will work for you as well.

1. Start with Gratitude

I’m sure you heard a lot of talk about the benefits of gratitude, but how does this work?

Studies have shown that practicing gratitude improves mental health, and reduces the incidence of negative emotions.

Here’s how it works:

reserve 5 minutes every morning for this practice, before you start your day. Make it non-negotiable
list 5 things you are grateful for in that moment.
try to appreciate aspects of your life that your are taking for granted.
make it specific. Instead of saying “I am grateful for my pet”, – what specifically is rewarding in your relationship with your pet? You could say “I am grateful for the cuddle session I had with my pet after I woke up”

Make this a habit, and in time you will notice you will become mentally stronger.

2. Go for a Walk

You’ve heard it a thousand times: exercise is good for your mental and physical health. But you are overworked, exhausted and busy like nobody’s business. You don’t have the energy to squeeze in an exercise routine.

But what if I told you that you can do it in a way that’s fun and relaxing?

Walking is exercise. It has actual benefits:

it gets the blood running, which is good for your heart
it strengthens your bones and your immune system
it helps you sleep better, which will improve your mood
it boosts your energy

And you don’t have to do a lot of it to see benefits. A half and hour long walk 3 times a week can do the trick. Although you will notice the benefits right away, and you’ll want to do more.

And if you think adding walks to your already busy schedule is not fun, I hear you. But the good think about walking is that you mind is free to do whatever it wants. If you can’t face the idea of letting your mind wander, I can see how that can be boring. Try listening to music that relaxes you. Or a podcast. Or an audiobook.

How do you find 30 minutes in your day? Easy: first check your app usage on your phone. My guess is there’s an app or two that take up a lot more than that every day. Could you replace scrolling with a walk every now and then?

3. Have Fun

If you are in burnout, chances are you forgot the meaning of the word fun a long time ago. You are too overwhelmed, you don’t have time for yourself because you are adulting. But this is exactly what’s going to help you break out of burnout.

Replace one of the boring activities with a pleasant one and see what happens. My guess is nothing. The world doesn’t end if you leave the dishes for tomorrow, or skip grocery shopping because you want to go out with a friend.

We make these concessions for our work all the time. We postpone daily tasks in our personal life to add more time to our work schedule. But we don’t do it for our mental health, were it matters.

You need to re-frame your thinking and re-shuffle your priorities. Your number one focus right now should be mental stability. Because without it, you won’t be able to do any of the tasks which now make up most of your day.

Go for a meal with a friend
Re-discover old hobbies
Watch a comedy special
Go on a night out, if that’s what you like
Go on a short trip this weekend

We need time out to rest, re-calibrate and re-charge. You can’t go around that, it’s how we’re built.

4. Practice Self Compassion

Have you noticed that when something goes wrong, you put yourself down?

It’s your fault for missing that deadline. You messed up by not organizing yourself better. You’re always making the same mistakes over and over. You’re not good enough. You promised yourself you would eat healthier. You could always do better.

Except you can’t do everything and do it perfectly. We compare ourselves with the best in everybody else and we find ourselves lacking. But success in one area does not mean success across the board. We keep ourselves to impossible standards.

Try practicing self compassion instead. Whenever the critical voice comes up, try to focus on the practical reasons why you are not perfect.

Make sure you talk to yourself the same way you would a good friend or a child. You will realise that you have been bullying yourself for years, or your whole life. We tend to see the mitigating circumstances in the people we love, but seldom in ourselves.

Give yourself a break. Remind yourself that you too are someone that you love. Be patient, be compassionate.

5. Connect with Others

You can’t do it all on your own. Also, you don’t have to.

Human beings are social animals, we evolved in communities and we need each other to survive. Studies have shown that loneliness raises your stress level, increases the risk for heart disease and dementia. Not only that, but social isolation is linked to early death.

Reach out to your friends and don’t feel ashamed to talk about your issues.
Get involved in your community. Volunteer, meet new people.
Talk to your neighbors
Call your loved ones more often
Schedule playtime and activities with your kids, if you have them

Take this seriously, because you can’t heal from anything without a support system. Make sure yours is a strong as possible.

Conclusion:

You can break out of burnout by starting with a few quick and easy changes to your everyday routine. You don’t have to turn your life upside down to be effective. Start focusing on your self care, one small step at a time.

Change your mindset, try to have some fun, cultivate relationships and the weight you are feeling will start to lift off.

Do these habits feel easy to implement in your daily life? Let me know in the comment section which one you would apply first.